she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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