careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
