Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
