You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
