Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
