i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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