yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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