Me too!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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