I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
