i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We are two peas in an std pod
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
