Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
