it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
