Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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