oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
