I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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