I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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