ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
