he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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