My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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