I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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