you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
