honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
