Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
