The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
