you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
