If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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