found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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