I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
