This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Terrible idea I love it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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