We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
