get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
