So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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