VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
