If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
