if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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