Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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