You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
