Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
