Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
