I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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