what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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