wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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