would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
