im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
