Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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