Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
