giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
