I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize