Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
