I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
