That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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