do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
false alarm, still single
Randomize
