My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
