Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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