New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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