You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
