Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Small penises have feelings too.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
