What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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