# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
