He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
