this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
