something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize