I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize