So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize