Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
