you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
