A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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