My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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