I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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