would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I love you. Go after that dick
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
