We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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