sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
