By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize