so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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