Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize