I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
